Shinji's Holly Grail
by AoiNoKitsune
Summary: Just a short OOC (well duh, it's humor genre) and something I wrote on impulse one night. R&R, please - I'm new here. Btw, watch out for the yaoi hint (thnx Okami ^_^)


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*Disclaimer: This work is NOT meant for sale or any other way of profit, it was created for entertainment only. All rights reserved to Neon Genesis Evangelion belong to the Gainax guys and other people that created and realized the project. 

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Evangelion fanfic: **Shinji's Holly Grail** (ep. n° 24 remake – of sorts ^^;)  
(Kaworu x Shinji)  
_by Kitsune_

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*Ratings: R   
***Cathegories**: yaoi, half citrus & half humor, Shinji POV (watch out – OOC style)  
***Author's notes**: Little I-wanna-do-something-else kind of fic. Even litterally. Thanks for the inspiration, Wired Al Yankovich.

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I know what Misato would have said right now. Something unsuccessfully sooting or failingly encouraging, one of hers 'all's gonna be OK' asurances or something of the sort, just as lousy. She always does that. But who does she think she's fooling anyway? It's so obvious she's doing it only to make herself believe it that you'd have to be blind, deaf and tied up like a mummy in a windowless and doorless room on the other side of Neo-Tokyo III to miss it. And she's usually wrong.

I don't wanna see her tonight. I know I'd have to go home, but then again why should I live up to what others expext me to do? They never did the same for me. Neither did Misato. So fuck it – I'm staying here at the NERV for the night. Not that it feels better or anything but it does save me the time I'd need to travel to the HQ, time I'd rather be spending for sleep. Not that I think I'll be doing it, these plastic chairs look all but comfty.

I poke my walkman again. It probably died or something because it refuses to obey the allready pushed play button. Great, and I don't have a spare pack of bateries with me. Fuck that too. I lean back against the wall trying to straight out my spine, the small cufs of the dead walkman still poised in my ears, grievingly silent. I've tucked the wires to the side, but they keep pooling annoyingly over my chest and onto my lap. One last angel... Just one more to go and I'll be free. I'll be out of this mess, out of unit 01, out of NERV, but most importanly, away from my father. He thinks he's such a genious. I thought he was too – I was wrong. I wanted to be his pride, but how could I, he doesn't know the meaning of that word. I wanted to be loved by him – guess again, he's not a pedophile. Childhood dreams blown to dust? Been there, done that. So did Asuka, I guess. I tried to tell her I knew how she felt, but she never stopped to listen. I wonder where she's been taken now anyway... Hell, I wonder if I won't just be taken away like that one of these days. Not that I'd actually mind if it was true, my life's not all that great ya know.

"Aren't you going home?"

My eyes steal a glance at who I already know would be standing in front of me. Perhaps I was even waiting for him and didn't know about it... The human mind's a twisted thing. In any case, I feel definitely glad I've met him. So says my cheering groin also. By the time I finally gain the power of speach again my cheeks must be gleaming like two red lightbulbs. 

"No, actually I'm not..."

Why am I having these strange flashes every time I talk to him? It goes something like that; Kaworu looks at me and I feel totally swallowed by those encahting crimson eyes of his. I'm all hot and tense, but in a good way. And suddenly I begin to loose the line between reality and dreams. Suddenly Kaworu stands naked beyond me, the surroundings become a totally unimportant blur. And he's nearing me, watching me, reaching to touch me...

"You can stay with me then," he smiles.

He's always smiling a bit when I look at him. He has that I-know-something-that-you-don't kind of smile, but it's not an arrogant one. Rather inrtuguing. It makes me kind of feel... well, dirty. Like if he knows I'm fantasing about him and enjoys it as well. A pure tease... and what a tease. It seemes totally unimportant what he chooses to wear, how he chooses to stand, or what he chooses to say – my body finds it arousing no matter what. Does that make me a perv? Once I've seen Misato an Kaji fuck each other senseless and never twitched during the whole act. If it wasn't for Kaworu, I'd never even know what having a hard-on meant. And I doubt I'd have to experience all the negative side effects that it carries along. Like embarasment for one.

"I wouldn't want to be a burden..."

Oh, but I would. Nobody's ever made me feel that way. I'm getting... no I probably allready am fully addicted to that feeling. Wanting phisical contanct makes me feel more alive than I ever dreamed to be. And that looks of his that my wishful thinking transforms into lusty glances, make me feel somewhat wanted, desired, craved... Just the feeling alone that smoebody else needs me in that way kind of gives me a reason to keep going, keep feeling, keep searching for more.

"You're not. C'mon, let's go."

He's already picked up my duffel bag and is walking down the hallway, flashing me one of those exotic smiles of his. God, how I love those. How I love _him_. I think I must be loosing the touch with what sanity I have left. I know I must be smiling along, blushing as I feel my erection stretch the front of my pants when I stand up to follow him.

~

Oh. My. God.

I've seen it all. Oh. My. God.

Kaworu's been talking about something, but I wasn't paying attention. How coud I – he stood up from the tub right there, next to me. Up to then I've been trying not to look at him trough the transparent layer of water. I knew that if he bothered to look below my stomach he would be able to tell just what kind of things were crossing my mind. But then again I think he's telepatic or something anyway, so he doesn't need to do that. However, at some point, he took my hand and tangled his fingers with my own, probably thinking I should be paying more attention to what he was telling me, but he gained the opposite effect. I could practically feel my shaft stiffen in the hot water as the bolt of his touch shot trough me. I wanted those figers on me, touching me, rubbing me and then... Then he stood up. Shamelessly. I couldn't stop festing my eyes. I must have looked like a born maniac, but then again, I was looking at what I've been dreaming to see day by day, with every fiber of my being. He's not as lean as me, no – he's _perfect_. Lightning strike me if I ever see anything beautier. He's very well endowed, cross my heart. And I can swear he's been half-hard then...

Well, now I'm lieing on a futon on the floor, next to his bed, in his small little room, listening to his breathing. I'm wishfully spraweled under the heavy covers, marveling all the pressure they manage to pour onto my groin. Damn, I wish he would just roll in the sleep and land on top of me sometime during the night, hopefully sometime soon.

"I have this feeling I should be the one sleeping on the floor,"

What...? He's still awake?! Oh for heaven's grace, go to sleep, Kaworu! How can I go jerk off in the bathroom without having to tell you otherwise? Well anyway, I'm his guest, so I guess I gotta submit... Thinking about it, I wouldn't mind to totally submit to him phisically, not at all. Infact, I feel like he could simply mouth it and I'd raise my ass for him... Alright, that's enough. I regret I never asked Kaji anything about calming hard-ons or cooling lusty daydreaming back when he was still alive. I was really fond of the guy (probably just my gay-blooming), but we were never as close as I feel to Kaworu. But then again I can't ask Kaworu about it – he's the the source of the problem!

"No, that's Ok. I'm fine."

Well it's true. A little too fine actually, allmost painfully so. I think I'm reaching the crossing border to act-now-think-later land because my hand's subtly inching under the covers to 'gripp the matter at hand'. Thankfully I spotted it in time tuching it under my ass for safety. Good job. I think I can let loose that breath I've been holding for the last half minute. Huuuff, that's better. Now let's see, what can I distract myself with... Oh yeah! The bookshelf above his bed! I wonder what he likes to rea... Rea... AAH! He's looking at me! Smiling! Musn'tlookintoeyes, musn'tlookintoeyes, musn'tlookinto... Oh, I simply addore that shade of red...

Quick, I'm loosing it! If I don't think of something I'll end up whacking off in from of him! Maybe if I start ranting about something... How's about my fucking life? Well, the topic's miserable enough to stay out of sex plus I have it memorised suconciously, so that should do it till I think of something better...

I think I can rant like this for hours. Wow, never thought I had it in me! Who knows, I might just sign up for Hikaru's next school play. I've practically spilled out to Kaworu every fucking bit of my childhood up to now and I'm dangerously nearing the present too. Err... since I'm sure I must be annoying him...

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I never told it to anyone."

There, that should do it. Hopefully now he'll yawn and fall sleep so I can go pay the toilet a little night visit. There's a slight rumpling sound and I drag my eyes up to see – he's probably shifting in the covers to get comftable... Not. Damn, why the hell's he sitting up now? If he doesn't get out of my sight, something else's gonna be sitting up even more painfully than it already is. H- Hey! He's... He's stradling me! I feel my eyes grow huge from the shock. OMG, he's so near...

"You're just tense."

No shit! I've painfully been aware of that, thank you. And guess who's to blame? Well as long as he stays at my navel level I shouln't have to worry about explaing anything jet... Suddenly he leans back, sitting right onto, well, my ranting minnie-me, smirking. Overload! I think I'm about to explode. It would be better if I did, but instead I just shamefully, unrepressably, loudly moan. Where's that fucking angel now to kill me before I have to face the enbarassment? They're never there when you need them, I tell ya.

I've regained my senses now and I bet I could look at him at this point except that I don't want to do it. I pretend to still be afected by his touch, with my mouth falling open and all. Damn, I really gotta talk with Hikaru about the next school play... Hey, maybe I could drag Kaworu into it too. We could play somerhing Ann Rice style, I'm sure he'd be a great Lestat as much as I'm sure I'd enjoy squirming, Louis-like, while he'd nibble on my neck...

His wiggle awkes me from my stupid-like waiting. This time my eyes fly to meet his face, incredulous. He's got a smirk worth a Nobel prize on his face and he keeps doing it, wiggling that is. Gosh, is that me vailing? I sound like a dog in heat, for crying out loud... and I can't stop!

Just when I begin to juicily rock along he lifts off, the covers are probably sent to a trip to Florida – if there's still some of it left. He shifts btween my legs and... Hey! When were my pants disintegrated?! Well I don't think I'll bother to ask anyway. First, becuse don't think I can actually vocalize it, and second, because his smirking mouth is about to get... buis... OH GOD!

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My mornings are always eventfull, I never get to grab any breakfast. Today for example, I was woke up by that annoying alarm vailing that Dr. Ritsuko promised to change a lifetime ago – but didn't, no time. Yup, being my ol' man's slut's a full-time job. You even get to meet the Seelee guys (or whatever they want you to think they are). First thing I noticed was that my pants were missing. Couldn't spot them even if I split myself in four and turned the room upside down. So anway, since it was beyond my power to do either, I graspped a sheet and ran for the hangar, I mean, who nees pants under the plug-suit, right? Halfway to unit 01 I finally noticed why were all the emloyers I encountered chucking at my sight – I forgot the sheet had cum all over. But I was allready halfway trough, plus I know those guys think I suck anway (now even litterally), so – what the hell – I kept running.

By the time I mounted Eva 01, Misato was allready at the command bridge, screaming in the intercom like she always does. I've told her about a thousand times unit's 01's inercom's working all fine and dandy, it's Asuka's the one who should be put at test – she never seems to hear the orders given. Nor does Misato hear me when I'm talking. What's wrong with women? I'm amused only I turned out to be gay around here. Save Kaworu, of course.

Anyway, for what I figured out from her yelling, 02 went bonkers destroying the base from the inside. A fit of clashing, smashing and slashing later I was falling down a shaft with Kaworu beyond me. As wishfull as that may sound, you've got a wrong picture. So, um, we settled for ass-kicking even though mine was still sore from last night. I crashed unit 02 he was sort of controlling form the outside just as we splashed in my papa's secret closet. There's this wired looking, mask-wearing huge white upper half of a figure sprawled on a cross that Kaworu's been looking at and mumbling somethng. Whoa, I better grab hold of him before he falls in love with it or something.

"I'm the last angel. If you don't kill me, I'll out do humans, and your race will die," he tells me. Gee, you don't say. So that's how it feels to be fucked by an angel... 

And he's looking... looking... looking...

And I'm thinking... thinking... thinking...

And he's watching... smiling... waiting...

And I hit a holly grail of an idea.

"Say, why don't we get into human genetics instead, like my papa here, and breed a son... Err, I mean, a race in the middle?"

Kaworu seemes to ponder this idea of mine thoroughly for a minute or so and then answers sweetly "OK."

"Let's go discuss our future to that cafe outside the HQ then, shall we?" Cool, looks like I'm getting my brakfast finally. "Oh, Rei! Haven't seen you for days! Wanna tag along? Watch your step, the shaft's slippery ya know. Tell me, how would you like to help us 'give birth' to our plans?"

~*The End – or just the beginning? *insert terrifying sound effect here*

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*Author's notes: Um, guys? Before you flame me, I might add I fully respect the show in every single aspect. Don't tell me you NEVER go bonkers and write things like this – I won't believe you. And if you don't, you should. It gets the demons out for a while =3 _Kitsune_


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